Frustration and fatigue

I am upset about some stuff happening around me.

Work, personal, health.

Been thinking about those things a lot. Frustrating, troubling.

I ask myself, why did things turn out like that?

Something that happened in the office – I would have liked to be in her shoes. Not that I’m jealous about it, but I think I can do those things too, and enjoy it then what I’m doing now. It’s a lot more work, but I’ve always wanted to do something like that.

There’s this lingering feeling inside me which makes me rather tired to think.

And…sometimes I wished that I didn’t get thyroid. It has been making me tired easily, no mood to do a lot of things, and it’s very frustrating too. I want to do things, but I do not have the strength to do it. And I dun think that’s because of age.

VH told me to take a break from work (no pay leave or something). I told him that I do not want anyone else in the company to know that I’ve got this illness. So if I want to take it I most probably have to reveal the reason behind it.

I forget things, put on weight, get frustrated because I’m almost always tired.

Sometimes I wonder what’s the use of the medicine that I’m taking when I’m still always lethargic?

And how can I afford to stop work at this time?

I hate it when I feel helpless…

Can I rest?

No.

I have to go on.

I feel like taking leave tomorrow. Just do nothing. Switch off my phone and have a good proper sleep, though that sleep don’t seem to help too much.

Even that, is a luxury…